5 posts tagged “jokes”

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~~~> Hari tu sibuk-sibuk pasal Maxis, Celcom, ..... nah
~~~> baca nih...
~~~>
~~~>
~~~> -----------------------------------
~~~> Hi friends,
~~~>
~~~> This is a true story of a young college girl who
~~~> passed away last month, at Shah Alam. Her name is
~~~> Priya. She was hit by a lorry. I don't want to
~~~> mention the name of the college.
~~~>
~~~> She has a boyfriend name Shankar who stays in Johor.
~~~> Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the
~~~> phone. You can never see her without her handphone.
~~~> She spends 3/4 of the day talking with Shankar. Both
~~~> of them are using Digi. Priya's family knows about
~~~> their relationship. Shankar is very close with
~~~> Priya's family. (Just imagine their love)
~~~>
~~~> Before she passed away she once told her friends, "If
~~~> I passed away please burn me with my handphone." She
~~~> also said the same thing to her parents. After her
~~~> death, people can't carry her coffin. I was there too.
~~~> A lot of them tried to do so but failed. Everyone
~~~> including me, had tried to carry the coffin, but the
~~~> result was still the same.
~~~>
~~~> Eventually, they called their neighbour, a "Bomoh"
~~~> from Thailand (Pak Darin), who is a friend of her
~~~> father. He took a sit and started speaking to himself
~~~> slowly. After a few minutes, he said, "This girl
~~~> misses something here." Then her friends told Darin
~~~> about her intentions to burn her with her handphone.
~~~> He then opened the coffin and place her handphone with
~~~> SIM card inside the casket. After that, they tried to
~~~> carry the coffin. Surprisingly, it could be moved and
~~~> carried into the van easily. All of us were shocked.
~~~> (Can you feel the fear? I'm shaking at this moment)
~~~>
~~~>
~~~> Priya's parents didn't inform Shankar that Priya has
~~~> passed away. (Pity Shankar). After 2 weeks Shankar
~~~> called Priya's mom. Shankar: ...."Atte, I'm coming
~~~> home today. Cook something nice for me. Please don't
~~~> tell Priya that I'm coming home today. I want to give
~~~> her a surprise." Her mother replied, "You come home
~~~> first, I want to tell you something very important."
~~~> After he came to Shah Alam, they told him the truth
~~~> about Priya. Shankar thinks that they were playing a
~~~> fool. He was laughing and said "Don't try to fool me.
~~~> Tell Priya to come out. I have a gift for her. Please
~~~> stop this nonsense." Then they showed him the original
~~~> death certificate to convince him that Priya has died.
~~~> (Shankar started to sweat)
~~~>
~~~> Then he said, "This is not true! We just spoke to each
~~~> other through handphone yesterday! She called me!
~~~> Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, his phone rang...
~~~> "See! This is from Priya!" He showed the phone to
~~~> Priya's family. They told him to answer the call. He
~~~> talked using the loudspeaker mode and all of them
~~~> heard the conversation loud and clear. No cross lines
~~~> and no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya &
~~~> there is no way that anybody could use her SIM card
~~~> which has been nailed inside the coffin.
~~~>
~~~> They were shocked and asked for Pak Darin's help
~~~> again. Pak Darin brought his Master (Tok Chen) to
~~~> solve this matter. Tok Chen & Darin worked for 5 hours
~~~> & finally they discovered one thing...
~~~>
~~~> Tok Chen was sweating. He said, "I just cant believe
~~~> this! This is unbelievable! I can't believe that this
~~~> actually happened!"
~~~>
~~~> "Oh My God! Digi is the best line, ever! We can still
~~~> keep in touch even after we are dead!! Talk about
~~~> coverage!!! Best coverage ever!!! Where can I get the
~~~> SIM pack? "
~~~>
~~~> Conclusion, Digi is the best!!
~~~> Even Tok Chen is asking for one!
~~~>
~~~> Time to change...

Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.

He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.

He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.

If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.

He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.

While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.

This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?

However...
If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.

$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
   
   
2. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
   
   
3. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
   
   
4. My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.
   
   
5. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
   
   
6. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
   
   
7. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
   
   
8. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
   
   
9. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
   
   
10. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.